Baby Geniuses

Hello babies!

We have some BIG NEWS for you- Lisa got a horse! Emily told some unfortunately timed jokes on James Corden. On this episode, we briefly deconstruct "Bah, Humduck! A Looney Tunes Christmas," a clearly flawed A Christmas Carol spoof that we haven't watched. 

On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "George Tirebiter," a nationally known figure and beloved canine mascot of the University of Southern California. 

Direct download: Baby_Geniuses_12-1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:51am PDT

Hello Babies!

And a happy Cyber Monday to all! On today's ep, we take a deep dive into some of our most controversial listener submitted questions. We cover the gamut from questions about being a horse girl to which episode of Friends is the most overrated. On Chunch Chat, Martha gets political. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Bernd das Brot," a depressed bread puppet. 

Direct download: baby_geniuses_11-11_2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:35am PDT

Hello babies!

Everyone breathing alright out there? We recap some of the nice things that have happened since the recent midterm elections. Lisa purchased and wore an adult halloween costume to work. Emily ponders new ways to lure children to her cottage. On Chunch Chat, Lisa is considering acquiring a horse. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "List of U.S. presidential campaign slogans."

Direct download: baby_geniuses_11-11.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:24am PDT

Hello you spooky babies!

Hallowe'en is upon us, much akin to a cape upon Count Dracula himself! Emily and Lisa read some quesstioonnss from Twittterrrr (please read in a scary voice). On Chunch Chat, we are haunted by the devil himself. On today's seasonally appropriate Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Witch bottle," a countermagical device used by both witches and non-witches alike. Next time you pee in a bottle, know that you're participating in a century old protection ritual!

Direct download: baby_geniuses_10-13_stormy_edit.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:00am PDT

Hello babies!

Wassup all you ragtime babies! Emily got back from the Emmys and her Getty Images purse is the talk of the town! Some bad stuff has happened in our country since our last episode and we talk about that too. Lisa watched a romantic horny movie to get her mind off this month's horrors. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "J. I. Rodale," a healthy man who met an untimely end. 

Direct download: baby_geniuses_10-13_1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:57am PDT

Hello Babies!

Especially E.L. James! We hope you're listening, because we have some writing tips for you. Lisa has been catching up on some popular media, including finally reading 50 Shades of Gray and watching equally huge cultural sensation Ricki and the Flash. On Chunch Chat, we discuss Martha's new turkeys. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Skunks as pets." The big question - to de-stink or not to de-stink?

Direct download: Baby_Geniuses_9-15_2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:27am PDT

Hello babies!

Make sure to check out Lisa's new book Coyote Doggirl, in stores now! She's doing some in store events, so if you're in SF or NY go catch one! On this episode- did you know Emily is on a trivia team? And she hasn't told Lisa or I about it? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Dhinga Gavar, a festival celebrated in Jodhpur, in Western Rajasthan in India. Women are encouraged to don sticks and hit men with them. 

Direct download: Baby_Geniuses_9-15.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:37am PDT

Hello babies!

Don’t forget to get Lisa’s new book Coyote Doggirl at your favorite local book shop! On this episode, Lisa watches a seasonally inappropriate film for her birthday. Emily is now a subscriber to Martha Stewart Living. Stay tuned to hear her new favorite recipe that she will never make. On Chunch Chat, we learn about the queen of England’s nemesis horse. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “Wikipedia Long-Term Abuse,” a list of frequent Wikipedia tricksters and scammers. We love a good prank, especially the pointless kind!

Direct download: baby_geniuses_9-03.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:20am PDT

Hello babies!

First things first: Lisa's book "Coyote Doggirl" is in stores now! If you're in Denver or Seattle, Emily is performing there in the next week or so! In this episode, Emily finally gets into summer mode by visiting a water park. Lisa and Emily discuss when is too late to get your first tattoo. On Chunch Chat, Martha breaks the silence! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Person." Get ready to question your own existence!

Direct download: baby_geniuses_8-19_3.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:21am PDT

Hello babies!

Singing is fun, don't you agree? We like to make playlists of our favorite songs to sing and drive around sometimes. It's August, so that means we're brainstorming our Halloween costumes. On Chunch Chat, Martha gives another young actress the cold shoulder. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Mabel Stark," a cat lady from the 20s. 

Direct download: baby_geniuses_8-3.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:00am PDT

Hello babies!

We would like to formally apologize for pronouncing geoduck wrong all this time. On this episode, Emily and Lisa talk about a chicken lady and offer tips for buying antique rugs. In other news, Emily is nominated for a certain television award that sounds somewhat like her name. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Greenland Shark," a large shark with toxic meat. Don't eat the shark! 

Direct download: baby_geniuses_7-22.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 4:00am PDT

Hello babies!

Webster's Dictionary defines this episode as a rather good one. On this episode, Emily shares about her run in with a rock and roller. Lisa has a Craigslist based experience. On Chunch Chat, we learn more about Martha's Pomeranian guard goose and Sebastapol geese. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Amy Bock, the Tasmanian born confidence trickster. 

Direct download: baby_geniuses_7-9.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:14am PDT

Hello babies!

New houses, same babies. Emily and Lisa are moving up in the world. Getting older has it's perks, like multiple rooms for pooping. On Chunch Chat, we learn that Martha has geese. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Joey Skaggs, an American prankster and creator of "culture jamming." 

Direct download: baby_geniuses_6-25.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:41am PDT

Hello, babies!

On today's episode, we address some controversies, including those surrounding Emily's Friends tweet. Lisa has a sex dream about a bird. Emily reads a libertarian children's book. On Chunch Chat, Martha Stewart rides her friesian to the farmer's market. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "S. A. Andrée's Arctic Balloon Expedition of 1897." I would suggest not taking a hot air balloon to the North Pole. 

Direct download: baby_geniuses_6-11.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:58am PDT

Hello, babies!

When was the last time you moved to a new place? Emily and Lisa are both in the thick of it. Come hear their tales of couches on curbs and packing techniques. We read the greatest listener letter ever written. Stay tuned for an especially soggy edition of Chunch Chat. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Twelve Tribes communities," affectionately known as the Yellow Deli Cult. 

Direct download: Baby_Geniuses_5-19.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:13am PDT

Hello babies!

Emily's brother just had a baby! That's a big deal! On this episode, Emily has a pointed response to a question. Lisa learns how to sell refrigerators with potato chips. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Ming of Harlem. Next time you're walking through New York, look up! There might be tigers and alligators watching you.  

Direct download: Baby_Geniuses_5-14-18.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:55am PDT

Hello babies!

Eat anything good lately? Lisa's dog ate her mouthguard and underwear. Emily does Zumba with two middle aged women and considers learning Spanish. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Mozart and Scatology." Turns out everyone's favorite composer loved fart jokes as much as the rest of us!

Direct download: Baby_Geniuses_4-28-18.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:44am PDT

Hello, babies!

It's tax season, so we're doing anything to distract ourselves from filing! We're digging through various 1099s to find listener submitted questions. All your questions will finally be answered! How do you start dating again after being widowed? How do you respond to an overly complicated bro high five? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Chicken eyeglasses." Chickens used to wear stylish spectacles to protect from feather pecking and cannibalism! 

Direct download: baby_geniuses_3-25.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:07am PDT

Hello babies!

It's the greatest time of the year - the MaxFunDrive! Make sure you sign up to become a member so you can get access to the special bonus episode! We do a march madness style bracket to help decide what celebrities belong in Terrace House: Baby Geniuses edition. 

On this episode we read the Wikipedia page for "Goofy," but you may know him as George G. Geef or Goofus D. Dawg. But that would be weird if you did! 

Direct download: baby_geniuses_goofy.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:57am PDT

Hello babies!

Got any great travel plans? We don't! In this episode, Lisa successfully blurbs a book, Emily is still considering starting the podcast about wiping ass. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Mariko Aoki phenomenon," a Japanese expression referring to an urge to defecate that is suddenly felt after entering bookstores. Scientists are clamoring to find an explanation. 

Direct download: baby_geniuses_3-18.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 11:10am PDT

Hello babies!

We've been very busy lately so we're finally catching up on all the good things we missed last year. Why didn't anyone tell Emily to watch Get Out sooner? On this episode, we let the toucan out of the bag! Lisa is creating a new show for Netflix! Tuca & Bertie stars some of the characters she's been doodling while recording Baby Geniuses. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Flatulence Humor." Humans have been laughing at our own farts for millennia. Sorry mom, it's not a "phase" I'll "grow out of." 

Direct download: baby_geniuses_3-4_2.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:36am PDT

Hello babies!

If a baby Bojack appeared on your porch, would you take care of it? Someone made an eerily realistic Bojack doll and sold it on Etsy. We'd like for whoever bought it to come forward. Emily recorded her live album in Portland recently, she would like to say thank you to the lovely person who sent her a whole cheese pizza. On Wiki of the Week, we read the extremely on brand Wikipedia page for Each-uisge, a mythical water horse. 

Direct download: baby_geniuses_2-18.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:00am PDT

Hello, babies!

We hope you enjoyed the Big Game! We spent Sunday cheering for 2018 all star Phil Rosenthal. We skipped the puppy bowl and revisited that show about hypothetical bizarre animal fights. Also on this episode: a couple is inspired by our witch tattoo conversation and gets matching butt tatts! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Clamato."

Direct download: baby_geniuses_2-4.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:00am PDT

Hello geniuses!

I mean, hello babies! Both come off kinda condescending, right? We don’t really mean to be. In this episode, Emily considers marrying Lisa’s dog. Lisa has conflicting emotions regarding the hypothetical ceremony. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for “List of Gestures,” which is awfully comprehensive. 

Emily Heller
Lisa Hanawalt

Direct download: baby_geniuses_1-29.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:00am PDT

Hello babies! 

Emily didn't get a lot of sleep last night because her neighbors fighting, so please ignore all the cold brew slurping sounds. She's hot off the heels of throwing a successful retirement party for all men. We'll explain what that is. Lisa reads a book about a sexy merman and discovers that's not really her thing. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Catalan mythology about witches." It gave us some fun tattoo ideas!

Emily Heller
Lisa Hanawalt

Direct download: baby_geniuses_1-14.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 10:17am PDT

Hello babies!

Portland, OR based babies: Come to Emily's album recording on January 20th at the Curious Comedy Theater! 

Non Portland based babies: Portland is very beautiful in late January, consider visiting? 

Happy new year! Maybe things will get better this year, maybe not? We will be here to scream into our hands with you either way. On Chunch Chat, Martha shows off a coyote eating donkey. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Death during consensual sex." I learned the word defenestration! 

Emily Heller
Lisa Hanawalt

Direct download: baby_geniuses_1-1.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 9:56am PDT

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